Wednesday, October 13, 2010

How to Deal With Psychic Vampires

How to Deal With Psychic Vampires

Psychic vampires (psi-vampires) are said to be people who drain "life force" or will from a susceptible person.[1] There are different definitions for a psychic vampire, and for what constitutes your "life force". In this article, it is assumed that a psychic vampire refers to the persons in your life who seem to be all take and no give, who drain your energies through relentless demands and taking advantage of you, leaving you feeling vulnerable, exhausted, and run down. It should also be recognized that not all of those who could be viewed as psychic vampires are necessarily bad; it may be that you've a lot to learn about not letting people take advantage of you so easily or that friends of yours who drain you haven't learned to control their overly energetic nature. In this article, you'll get a good start at learning to deal with psychic vampires.

Steps1 Identify when someone is behaving in a way that undermines your energy or exploits you while fulfilling their own needs. There are intentional and non-intentional psychic vampires, namely people who purposefully seek to drain energy from another person to serve their own ends and those who don't mean harm but connect too strongly with others and drain them without realizing.

Conscious or intentional psychic vampires are manipulative people who seek to take all they can from others without ever giving in return. When pressed, they rarely give away information in any detail and refuse to build up much of a picture of their own lives but live under an aura of mystery and aloofness.[2] They may claim to be able to do fantastical things, like being able to live forever, able to move things with thoughts, or put out fires through thought, etc.,[3] but when pressed, they won't provide much evidence.[4] They are often arrogant, angry, and controlling; they'll also try to befriend leaders or powerful people in order to use these people as part of their manipulative influence. They'll often insist that they're right, period, and won't listen to your perspective but will argue theirs eternally.

Unknowing or non-intentional psychic vampires are people who manage to drain your energy through constant questioning and seeking ideas from you without really contributing anything novel of their own. They're often disorganized people who might be really lovely to know and incredibly intelligent but who never manage to sort out their own life and expect your help to achieve this all the time. As soon as a pattern is set, they're lulled into expecting you'll always be on hand to help them.

Both types of psi-vampires tend to see the world negatively and bring forth complaints as conversation starters. This is so that they can start to drain you of your energy and draw from your positive reactions and solutions.[5]

Know yourself. People most prone to being drained of energy by others are people whose own boundaries are weak or ill-defined, and who tend to be people pleasers, unwilling to say "no" and afraid of ever being seen to let down anyone else.

Get yourself checked out by a doctor before blaming people around you for "draining your energy". You might have ME, chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia, poor nutrition, or any other underlying medical condition that needs treatment. Granted, it may be worsened by hanging around energy-draining psi-vampires but you have the upper hand in fixing it if you know you've got it.

Talk to a counselor or therapist if you have problems with your emotions, feelings, and interactions with other people.

Improve your fitness and immune system. If your physical strength and immune system are under par, you'll naturally feel more vulnerable to a lot of life's vicissitudes, and this can leave you open to people who prey on weaknesses. Eat healthily, exercise regularly, and maintain your overall health.

Find powerful ways to resist. The most powerful word is "no". Instead of allowing yourself to remain a doormat or a people pleaser, learn to say "no" when you're not able to fulfill a request or demand, or you're simply not interested in doing what the other person wants of you.

If your assertiveness skills are lacking, a psi-vampire personality will seek you out. Improve them by reading up on how to be more assertive and seeing a counselor to guide you if needed.

Avoid people who drain your energy. Work out which people leave you feeling washed out and used up and do your best to avoid them. If you can't do that and you're cornered by them, avoid answering their questions or probing. In refusing to provide much by the way of information, they'll soon pass on to someone else.[6]

Be polite to psychic vampires who are in positions of authority, such as a boss or community leader. Be evasive about giving them information you're not willing to provide and only do what's required of you in your role. If at work, try to work away from a person like this as much as possible. Never tell them what to do but stand up for your own methods by telling them you respect their approach but find yours works too.

Be particularly vigilant with people who know the effect they're having. Dr van Neumig considers this person the most dangerous type of psychic vampire because he or she is manipulative, devious, cunning, and power-hungry.[7] Such a person won't hesitate to use you for their own ends and to discard you when you work out what's going on. However, rather than fearing such a situation, you owe it to yourself to not be gullible or blindsided by such a person; always stay alert to any signs of a person trying to control you by wearing you down and listening to your gut feeling about not wanting to follow through on anything such a person suggests.

Find help from someone skilled in dealing with psychic vampires. There are healing arts practitioners who claim to be skilled at helping others to deal with psi-vampires effectively.

Don't believe that this person has a right to control your life. Power granted to another to control your life will usually be abused. By taking responsibility for your own life and removing the hold that the other person has over you, you will destroy the link that binds you to the psychic vampire.

Believe that this person has no ability to harm or control you. Keep thinking this all of the time and it will rebound on the psychic vampire.[8]

5   Find other ways to shield yourself from the psychic connection with this person.

Wear colors of protection. Purple is the color associated with psychic protection.[9] Wear a purple piece of clothing, or jewelery to ward off the psychic vibes.

Build a psychic wall of protection around yourself, or a bubble of light. Seek to have their negativity and draining bounce off this wall whenever you're interacting with them.[10] Read books or articles on how to develop or build psychic protection – there are many possible ways.

Give this person a humorous warning that you're up to their tricks – a rope of garlic, a small wooden stake, etc.[11] Add a card with a quirky message like "Quit draining me". While you're being funny, the other person will probably be offended by this, so expect to be burning a bridge between the two of you, as psychic vampires rarely have a sense of humor.

Be responsible for yourself. Ultimately, it's unsatisfactory to move through life seeking to blame others for how you're feeling and to postpone your own responsibility to self-improve. While there are manipulative and difficult psi-vampire types out there, you're not helping by insisting it's all their fault. If you're putting life on hold and letting someone else direct it for you or push you where you'd rather not go, move past spotting the demons around you and start checking out the ones within. Demolish them and the psi-vampires won't alight on your doorstep anymore.

Tips Some psi-vampires are very similar to persons with narcissistic personality disorders, particularly those who seek to manipulate and divide and conquer in order to get what they want out of life. Reading up on that disorder will help you to spot and deflect that type of psi-vampire.

Psychic vampires are also known as emotional vampires, psi-vampires, or PVs.[12]

Avoid adopting a victim mentality, and keep this all in perspective. Finding a scapegoat for your bad reactions can become a learned habit of its own that you're better off unlearning. Many draining personalities have their own weaknesses and inabilities to draw boundaries, which is probably why they're attracted to another person with ill-defined boundaries and vulnerabilities. Perhaps you're peas in a pod needling one another's weaknesses because you both know them only too well.

Warnings   Don't fob off a psi-vampire onto someone else you know just to get the psi-vampire off your back. With care, warn other people targeted by the psi-vampire and support them to keep out of this person's clutches.

Try to avoid psi-vampires online. You'll know them by the fact that you feel sickened constantly when interacting with them and all they ever feed you are complaints and negativity.[13]

Be mindful of the possibility that you might just be a psi-vampire yourself even if you're feeling somewhat a victim. If you're the type of person who drains others (have you checked?), it's still possible to be drained by other drainers in what becomes a sort of vicious cycle whereby each of you feeds off one another for an energy refill, draining one another. Be the first to break the cycle!

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